Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hello Goodbye

The argiopes are here, big and bold, black and yellow. They tell me the time; Summer's goodbye. They stitch the season shut. You see, Laura heads back to school on Friday. And the kids start on Wednesday, the feast of the Transfiguration.

The girls might be going back to school with their mama. We've discussed whether to keep them out for homeschooling again or to send them back and we're leaning toward sending them back. I don't know whether it's the best decision, but it's there. We're still waiting to hear whether the youngest girl can get into kindergarten, and we've decided it's an all or nothing affair. If they can all get in, so be it. If they can't, they learn here at home. I've been emotional about the decision, for a slew of reasons. I'm worried about my oldest, who we pulled out because of how difficult a time she was having. I'm worried that she's not ready for heading back, or that a traditional school is not fit for her. I'm worried that I'm giving a good to them when I could be giving better. I'm worried about moving Sophie back and forth, even though she's very excited about the prospect.

I like being such a large part of their day. I like pushing them and teaching them and having conversations with them. I'll miss them. Maybe that's the entirety of my problem. That, and I don't want to make a bad decision.

If they go back, I'll be here with the boys. I'll have more time to give to them. I'll have more time to clean and to write. And at the end of December, we're expecting another baby. The new baby will certainly require some of my day.

It's been a difficult week, wrestling with the decision to send them to school and hoping it is the right one. For me it's harder than for Laura - she'll be getting to spend more time with them as they'll be driving to and from school with her (40 minutes each way) as well as hanging out in her classroom after the school day is over.

In light of all this life holds for them, it is not perhaps so paramount a decision. But it does have my mind and my heart in a tangle at the moment. I would appreciate your prayers.

5 comments:

onionboy said...

May the Lord grant you wisdom and peace.

Dan said...

I'll be praying for you.

alison said...

I will pray too.

It is a big decision and I know that God will guide you with peace and joy for all. He has been so gracious to us in that regard. This year I will only have Christopher home and the girls will be in separate schools, something I couldn't have fathomed last year except with horror. This summer has been our best in years and I am filled with peace.

God promises to gently guide those with young, as well as wisdom to those who ask for it. You and Laura will know. And I will pray.

truevyne said...

Prayers of peace for you and Laura, brother.

My son starts public high school after 6 years at home. Yikes and thank God I'm not the teacher anymore.

Scott Lyons said...

I appreciate your prayers. The girls, by the way, have been accepted at my wife's school, and will be starting with the other students on Wednesday.