Friday, June 10, 2011

last day

The last day of school, a little milestone, a moving forward - change. I'm not good at it. Time is a stream that carries all things with it. I am a soddened stick near the bottom, bumping slowly along in my unwillingness to move forward. I am not the leaf, newly fallen, that dances with current and ripple.

It is the milestone that slaps me across the face. That shakes me and yells at me to wake up. I am weighed down by anxiety and fear - it is so frightening to be present. I run from Today - backward or forward. Anywhere, really. I have difficulty moving forward because I have not lived today. And I missed yesterday. I have missed it. And fear will make me miss all of it.


kkollwitz said...

If you're raising a batch of kids, you're moving forward every day even if it doesn't feel that way.

Matt F said...

Hope your next day was a better one. Great blog, learn a lot from reading it. Matt