last day

The last day of school, a little milestone, a moving forward - change. I'm not good at it. Time is a stream that carries all things with it. I am a soddened stick near the bottom, bumping slowly along in my unwillingness to move forward. I am not the leaf, newly fallen, that dances with current and ripple.

It is the milestone that slaps me across the face. That shakes me and yells at me to wake up. I am weighed down by anxiety and fear - it is so frightening to be present. I run from Today - backward or forward. Anywhere, really. I have difficulty moving forward because I have not lived today. And I missed yesterday. I have missed it. And fear will make me miss all of it.

Thinking and Believing

How we think about something and what we believe about it are sometimes disparate things. Which, to me, is odd. But I occasionally in my spiritual life will have a moment of semi-clarity where I see this bold disconnect between my understanding of something theological and my belief/action concerning that same principle.

The prayer to the Holy Spirit I posted on Sunday

O Heavenly King, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere and fillest all things; Treasury of Blessings, and Giver of Life - come and abide in us, and cleanse us from every impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.

created one of those moments in me.

I think correctly about the Holy Spirit (I think). But this prayer made me realize that even though my view of the Trinity has broadened in the past year, that my understanding is still impoverished in many ways. And perhaps this has to do partly with the general incomprehensibility of the concept of the Trinity. Perhaps it is partly due to my upbringing (Thou shalt pray only to the Father ...). But sometimes I wonder how much of a practical Jehovah's Witness I am. Not fully comprehending or living as if God indwells His Church, that God - the Heavenly King - temples within me.

This is me thinking out loud, and it probably makes little sense to anyone else. I am not thinking of abandoning the Holy Trinity, only thinking that my heart may have inadvertently abandoned Him long ago. I'm not sure what I'm saying at the moment, except that I want to live the experience of the Holy Trinity more than simply know the concept in any theological sense - even if it's an understanding of the idea's unknowability. I want thought to concretize in my heart and in my life, in word and deed.

O Heavenly King ... come and abide in us, and cleanse us from every impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.

The War in/on Iraq (Or, What's in a Preposition?)

At the outset, I want you to know that I only have questions.

It has been three years and I am still very much saddened by our involvement in Iraq. I don't think we should have gone to war. Would we have been justified going to war even if WMDs had been discovered? I don't think so. And, anyway, how do you win a war against terrorism? How far do we go with this war? Do we engage in arguably terrorist activity in our pursuit to stomp out terrorism? (Terror: violence [as bombing] committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demands.)

Could terrorism be more effectively dismantled in some other way?

What ought the Church's response to this war have been? And what ought it to be? As followers of Christ, how ought we to act?

Let me make it clear that I do believe that it is important to pray for the men and women involved in this conflict (on all levels). We want no harm to come to them and we want them to act justly on behalf of the oppressed while they are on foreign soil.

Now, I am glad that Hussein is on trial, and I hope Iraq will eventually be able to put itself back together as a peaceful nation. But here are some of my questions: How many countries have leaders that need deposing? Will our deposition of one tyrant solve a country's problems? Is the United States right in taking on the responsibility of deposing a tyrant? Or should that be left to a more international group? Should we use the UN to handle such international problems? (Granted, there needs to be some reform within the UN, but it seems to me that we may be hurting ourselves tomorrow by ignoring the requests of the UN today.)

Sadly, I am not very involved in the goings-on in Iraq. In fact, I've put blinders on so that I don't have to think about it. I don't like thinking about it. Perhaps these very questions have been hammered out by others. If so, I'm certain they did so with a better understanding of the situation and I would love to be pointed in the right direction.

And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away. (Luke 1, Magnificat [partial], ESV)

Today's Big Thoughts for Little Brains

N.T. Wright says that the discussion of justification (and the argument surrounding Sola Fide) belongs not so much within soteriology as it does within ecclesiology.

He goes on to say that being justified by faith says less about how we are saved as it is a declaration that we are saved. Therefore faith is the badge, the declaration of our justification rather than its source. We do not merit justification through our believing, but our believing (our faith) is the evidence of our justification.

N.T. Wright can be difficult to understand. His ideas are especially difficult to understand after they're squeezed through my brain - perhaps they make no sense after I process them. Maybe it would just be easier to call him a heretic.

Sola Fide

How is one saved?

What are your arguments for "by faith alone"? And, perhaps more importantly, what do you mean by faith?

"You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone" (James 2.24, NASB). And "For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law" (Romans 3.28, NASB). Paul and James seem to disagree sharply, though they do not. Together, then, what are they saying? The danger of "faith alone" is that we can believe that faith is simple intellectual assent. But faith as intellectual assent does not save, does it?

Also, what does Paul mean by "works of the Law"? Is he simply stating that works do not save, or is he saying something else entirely?

What do the Scriptures teach?

On Schism

There has been some debate about the new Southern Baptist Church (SBC) International Missions Board's (IMB) position on baptism. Eternal security, no speaking in tongues - a less generous position, in my opinion. It all smells like schism to me. Lord willing, it will not end in that for the SBC, but it stinks regardless.

I was re-baptized after college by a church fellowship that, the week preceding my baptism, split over the issue of baptism. I've written about it before here, but it continually strikes me as a sad coincidence.

Nowadays we view schism in the church, at best, as merely regrettable. I believe it's sin. And I believe it's sin for two reasons. (1) Christ called us to be one. When we split, when we divorce ourselves from one another, we are resisting his call upon our lives. We are being disobedient children. (2) Church division allows us to feel better about, more certain of, ourselves. That's right, subconsciously, we love a good schism because, whatever side we choose, we are left feeling that we are in the right. It creates an us-them dichotomy. Schism is proud. It says, "I am better than the one who broke away/stayed because I am more gracious/because I hold more firmly to the truth of the scriptures." But schism is graceless and ends in little truth.

Here are some arguments for schism: apostasy, heresy, differing practices, distinctives, or interpretations. Which of these arguments, if any, are valid for schism, for division within the Body of Christ? Are there other arguments? Can we maintain unity in the midst of our differences? If so, how?

There's a Difference

There's a difference between seeking to follow Holy God and seeking to be holy. Isn't there?