Mass Flatus

In the quiet before yesterday's service, the oldest girl, to quote Chaucer, "let fly a fart." The barking, amplified by the wooden pew, reverberated throughout. "Excuse me," she said sweetly, as if wooden pews were exactly the proper place upon which one ought to break wind.

Later, during the consecration of the Eucharist, she began to say, "Oh, Snap!" (which she says quite loudly), but stopped after the "Oh" and a sharp look from her daddy. She became very embarrassed and still does not know, or refuses to tell me, why she blurted it out.