Habanero Means Hot

"Habaneros?" I scoffed. "I don't think that farmer down at the market knew what he was talking about - these are jalapeños."
     I washed the jalapeño, halved it, and removed the seeds and white spines. I sliced it for my taco salad. I picked up a small piece - maybe, all together, the volume of a pea - popped it into my mouth, and began chewing.
     Suddenly Johnny Cash was singing "Ring of Fire."
     I spit the itty-bitty piece of pepper into the trash can and begged my wife to get me a slice of bread. It helped. Some.
     My nose began to run violently. I asked for a tissue. I blew my nose and seconds later regretted the action. Apparently, I had blown some of the oils into my nose. My nose hairs were singed and withered as my nose caught fire. It felt red and swollen for thirty minutes. I was tempted to drink milk and try to squirt it out my nose. Or stuff bread into my nostrils. In the end, I simply offered up my suffering to God, who was laughing at me.
     The pepper was not a Habanero. I'm pretty sure of it. But it was also no jalapeño. It may have been a serrano. I don't know for sure. But, baby, it was hot.

Spider-Man 3

Call it bad parenting, but I took four of my children to see Spider-Man 3 today. One got in for free. Three carried blankets with them in case it got too scary (none were used). One had to use the bathroom in the middle of the movie. One, the one who got in free, was tired and wanted to go home before the movie was over. (Fortunately, I was able to bribe him with a small Sprite - if a three-dollar drink can be considered small.)

The kids know these movies and wanted badly to see the new one. Though not as badly as their daddy. I have been a huge Spider-Man fan since, well, always. I have at least two school pictures taken in Spider-Man shirts.

The newest of the Spider-Man movies has some great redemptive moments, some moralizing (a little overt for the little ones), as well as some flaws. The flaws mostly arise from packing in too much to possibly develop. But it's still good. It's darker. And it's got Spider-Man in it.

Go see it. Take your kids. Stay up all night with them as they have nightmares. Now that's fun for the whole family.

Unlawfully Absent

Yesterday, I received two letters for each of my girls about absences. It was shocking to receive them since I was not aware that they had any absences. The shock increased, on this first notice of our girls' truancy, with its wonderful quotation from the North Carolina Compulsory Attendance Law that spoke of unlawful absences and court dates.

"Unlawful," while technically accurate, seems to be tonally extreme on the first notification that your children have had several absences - especially when their absences are due to sickness or being stranded in Michigan due to a broken vehicle. But perhaps I'm being oversensitive.

Regardless, I called the school social worker this morning - where, Did I mention?, my wife teaches - and was told that all their absences were excused. Furthermore, the second letter that said they had three 'unlawful' absences was a glitch in the computer. I can only assume they use PCs.

I suggested they work on the tone of their first contact letters, and maybe not bring up the whole "We're going to haul you off to jail and send your children to live with Jimmy Jack and Annabelle Guthry in western Appalachia" bit until at least the second letter. I mean, we barely know each other.

I was kind, of course - but when am I ever not?