Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Dumpster Code

1. Always wear proper clothing.

2. Always carry a good flashlight or wear a headlamp.

3. Don't dive without a buddy.

4. There's a difference between a dumpster and a compactor - don't learn that difference the hard way.

5. Avoid dumpsters that

  • smell.
  • are littered with the bones of small animals.
  • are crawling with black widow spiders.
  • have arcane symbols painted on them.
  • have professionally posted Hazardous or Medical Waste signage.
  • are being emptied or will be emptied while you are inside.
  • are guarded by large rats.

6. Dig in dumpsters that

  • don't fall under Category 5.
  • are popular with the Fair Folk of the Shopping Cart.

7. Good girls don't kiss and tell - so don't divulge delish dives.

8. Never ever leave anyone behind.

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