Friday, May 05, 2006

Broken

It was two years ago.

We were driving to church, and I was explaining to my oldest, who had told a lie, how people wouldn't believe her if she told lies. I told her how important it is to always tell the truth.

Five minutes passed.

"Daddy," she said, "do you still believe in me?"

My heart broke under the weight of her words. A thousand times Yes! I wanted to scream. I wished that I could pour into her the knowledge of my belief in her like I could fill a cup - filling it and filling it until confidence, born of love, flowed out from her as from a spring. "Yes, I believe in you. Of course. Don't ever think that I don't."

At church, our little house church prayed that God would use it. We prayed for our needs and for the needs of others.

When I prayed, I praised God for His goodness. As the words came to me, I said them. And as I said the words, my heart broke again: "Lord God, Father, thank you for believing in me."

I choked on the words and, no sooner were they out, began to weep. My chest began to heave with the weight and release of it. I left the room as quickly as I could, leaving my prayer where it was.

7 comments:

alison said...

It is so amazing when you can hear and see a little heart on the line and - by the grace of God - are able to affirm and love and make secure and in so doing find affirmation, love and security.

BTW, what the appity - cray? What was this beautiful post doing with 0 comments? I take a few days off to devote myself to a wretched headache (literal) and look what happens...

Scott said...

I think, Alison, most were so stunned by its beauty that they couldn't muster a proper response. That's what I'm going with.

Sorry about the headache.

Oh, and, God is good.

Maggie said...

Thanks for sharing this. Beautiful. God's tender care of us is such a great blessing!

alison said...

That is the only explanation...or someone else might be offering free hotdogs and popcorn for commenting on his blog.

alison said...

I am now offering free pizza on MY blog...OK, it is really just a blog, but I am hoping it feels like free pizza after the mess of code.

Anna said...

Kids give us the best sermons don't they?

alison said...

This is alarming...I know you have been watching a lot of television lately and I know your standards when you are "on top of your game"...I am officially concerned.