Saturday, February 10, 2007

Circumcision Woes

My son, since he was circumcised, has been having trouble with his little thing and penile adhesion. I never heard of it, myself. But he's got a problematic peter, a tricky dick, ol' one eye's been having some blinder problems.

Anyway, we've applied copius amounts of petroleum jelly for great stretches of time (pull back skin, apply pet jelly, cross fingers), think it is resolved, and then, Wham-o! the skin re-adheres to his penis.

Yesterday, we took the crew to the doctor because of various germs. Two came away with antibiotics, and one of those two also came away with a sore penis. The doctor had yanked back the skin, once again. Will and his will were not happy. (Avery, in the room when it happened, said to the doctor, "I don't want you to do that to me." Amen, sister. The doctor guaranteed her that he wouldn't ever.)

Now, we can do this "skin yanking" at home. But it's altogether unpleasant to be causing Mr. Wiggles so much pain. And, added to that, we're pansies.

Will came out of the doctor. We got everyone in the Jeep, and Will says, "Muh buh(t) huh(t)s." You mean, your pee-pee? "Uh-huh." Well I would imagine so, buddy.

Then last night, after dinner, Will scrunched up his face into meany-mode and said, "Dat dotter huh(t) muh buh(t). I goh kih him."

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand the boy's sentiment. I do. But after I was able to stop my body from shaking with laughter (and stopping every jiggle takes a while), I assured him that he did not want to kill the doctor, that the doctor was only trying to help him.

I'm not sure if he's buying it.

And I need some more pet jelly.

3 comments:

truevyne said...

i have to ask- isn't that something a little laughing gas and a nice pair of sharp scissors in the hands of a skilled surgeon could remedy once and for all?

poor little guy!

When my son was 5, he wrote in his school journal (!), "I want a sicomesishun." He hadn't had one at birth, because his birthmother hadn't asked for one.

Scott Lyons said...

True, we have not been given any other options, though they've nearly recommended a urologist.

I really don't want him to have to go under the knife again if it's not necessary. We're praying this time's the charm.

Alexa said...

Maybe he wanted a frenectomy but didn't know the right term, TV?
Just kiddin.