Saturday, April 01, 2006

Pardon and Peace

I went to my first confession today (Reconciliation). I chose to sit face to face with the priest, a man with whom I've talked twice, mostly because I did not know what to do with the ornate confessional screen. I bumbled my way through, a fool on a fool's day. I managed to spit out intermittent, unconnected words that told a shameful story - one like yours, I suppose, only worse. And Christ took my story and he edited it, substantively. He made it beautiful again. He gave me perfect rhythm for shabby rhymes. He gave me new pages and told me to write new words.

You see, he believes in me still.

Today my sin and my shame were washed away, shame that was heavy, sins that accused. I woke to a day long anticipated: the first day of vacation, the beginning of the holidays, Christmas morning.

I know what you're thinking, and it's okay; I've thought it myself. But grant me this one thing, if you will: Rejoice with one who rejoices. Set aside your prejudice, your prejudgment, and rejoice with me. For I have found, at last, pardon and peace.

14 comments:

Alexa said...

Oh I so wish my sister could read this.
God bless you.

Hope said...

Absolutely rejoicing with you.

ukok said...

Congratulations! My mum, who is entering the Church this Easter Vigil is going to be making her first confession on Tuesday evening.

I made my first confession 2 weeks after my baptism at age 35 years, it was an awesome feeling, but more than that, it was a joy to me to really 'know' that I was cleansed of my lifetime of sin.

God Bless.

Mark W. said...

Rejoice! By all means!!!

The Sacrament of Reconcilation, like all the Sacraments, are celebrations first and foremost of God's love, but also of love within the community, the Body of Christ. It is a full re-joining, a strengthening of the branch to the Vine of Life.

No shame here. Not one ounce.

curious servant said...

=)

Owen of 4 blogs said...

God bless you bro. I am so thrilled for you. I made my first confession this past January. It was an awesome experience for this former Protestant minister. The story is on the blog somewhere. If you want to know just e-mail and I'll dig out the links. It may encourage you. However, you are sounding encouraged already and rightly so. Peace.

Jared said...

This made me smile.

Scott said...

Thank you, all, for rejoicing with me. With Reconciliation on Saturday and the Eucharist on Sunday, the weekend was one of the best I remember. I felt as if I were in a state of grace the entire time. I suppose I was.

Jamie Dawn said...

Good for you. I am rejoicing!

cjmr said...

My first Reconciliation is Saturday afternoon. I am so nervous. I'm going to have the choice of confessing to my own pastor or to a visiting priest from another parish. I'm trying to decide if it will be better or worse to talk to someone I know.

Scott said...

Owen, I spent some time reading your blog this morning and read through your Confessions posts as well. I appreciate your telling the story you do. My circumstances are vastly different than yours, and your courage to follow Christ, though it meant losing your job, is a fine example to follow. I also respect what you had to do with your family - especially with grown children. It sounds as if the Lord went before you, however, as far as they were concerned. My four children are six and under. So while they go where I go rather willingly (for the most part) it still caused me pause the evening that I realized that I was changing not only my journey, but also forever theirs. And I do it joyfully now.

cjmr - Do not be afraid. It will be a day of joy and peace for you.

see-through faith said...

:) be blessed as you continue to journey to the heart of God.

Scott said...

Lorna, thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Annabel said...

So very well said. You have a gift with words. I had my first confession last night and the peace is simply overwhelming.