As we were driving home from the grocery store - one of those "family" trips - the kids all had helium balloons. And then they didn't. One after the other let out the helium. (Completely wasted helium, I might add.) It took them less time to empty the balloons than it did for the poor kid who had to fill them all to fill them all.
So as their father, I kindly explained to them why balloons won't float as they do on SpongeBob, where they can simply blow air into something to make it float. I explained how helium is lighter than the air they breathe. And I added that letting the helium out of a balloon without inhaling it is surely at least a venial sin.
"Daddy, how do you know all that?" Annie asked.
Mommy said, "It's Daddy's job to know everything."
Anna said, "But Daddy doesn't have a job."
*phweeeee* I hear my pride deflating ...
To which dear, sweet Sophie replies, "But Daddy knew all that stuff before he lost his job, Anna."